Last Saturday WiseTribe held a community conversation on the subject of Violence and Conflict which was planned before the devastating Valentine massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. We were inspired by Prentice Mobley, a local change-maker who is the organizer of Delray Beach’s Walk Against Violence, which had its fourth year this past January. We wanted to widen perspective on the different realities lived daily in Delray Beach between blacks and whites and, with the help of local healers, shed wisdom on how conflict riddles our bodies with toxic stress.
With yet another school shooting, which was only 20 miles away from our community, this conversation took on added meaning as we came together to discuss how we got here – and where we go from here.
With young, old, black, and white contributing this conversation, we certainly had diversity of perspective. Thanks to the Listen Learn Care Foundation, we were graced with the company of trauma dogs from the Lutheran Church Charities who were in Florida to soothe the survivors. It was wonderful to have these beautiful, peaceful, loving animals at our feet and it made for a wholesome experience.
Little of the conversation revolved around policy change and we didn’t talk much about violence and conflict, really. Emotions, relationships, and culture took center stage as we discussed what we can do at the grassroots level to treat what feels like a societal virus that is spreading savagery and insanity.
Here are the highlights of our conversation:
To Tell or Not to Tell
As part of the solution, we are encouraged to effectively police one another by reporting those who appear mentally unstable. Knowing all too well that scapegoating, gaslighting and smear campaigns are the preferred (and highly effective) tools in the tackle box of the corrupt, deceitful, and power-hungry, this left some of us uneasy. Could this land us straight into George Orwell’s 1984 dystopian vision of the future?
What exactly happens to this information once someone is reported? Apparently not enough because the sheriff’s office received 18 calls regarding Nikolas Cruz as a violent threat to society.
I am Me because of You
As much as we like to tout that we human beings are blessed with free will, this is not as true as much as we trade on it. The growing field of behavioral economics continues to prove our immediate environment and the people who fill it heavily influence our behavior. The expression you are the five people you hang out with the most is what we’re talking about here.
Who we hang out with helps to define us and we help to define them. Multiplied by millions, this equation gives us something called Culture and, culturally speaking, we seem to be in a race to the bottom. If emotions are contagious, perhaps one of the vital questions for a better future is “how do we start appreciating one another?”.
With businesses playing a dominant role in shaping so much of our lives, how could the world of work shift us towards a culture greater appreciation, authenticity, and compassion?
California Dreamin’
Theoretically, all of this sounds awesome but is it realistic? We asked if anyone could cite other cultures where it is ok to be vulnerable, where trusting others is a safe sport, and healthy, life-affirming relationships are the norm. Northern Europe and the Blue Zones were suggested as examples but then we realized these places lack diversity and everyone pretty much looks the same which is wildy unlike good ole ‘Merica.
Let’s face it, America is an anomaly. A multicultural, multi-ethnic democracy is our quest, but it is unnatural. Tribal is natural. We’re fighting against thousands of years of human behavior and history to create something that no one has ever done before. That is what is exceptional about America. But this ain’t easy and, sadly, likely explains much of the cannibalization of the human spirit we’re experiencing right now.
Time to Wise Up! – Next Generation Civics
What would a next-generation civics curriculum need to look like in the US to quell the profound failings of modernity? With science, culture, and complexity exponentially accelerating, perhaps it is time to upgrade beyond traditional thinking of merely citizen rights and responsibilities. How could understanding human nature from the perspective of mind, body, and spirit help us foster a peaceful and productive society? And exactly which public institution would be responsible for infusing this kind of wisdom?
Community, a Partial Remedy
Strengthening our local communities came up consistently as part of the solution. We discussed the days when people use to parent one another’s children and the expression it taking a village to raise a child as being something that’s missing in society today. It is as if we’ve become so politically correct, busy, and stressed out that we simply do not have the courage or the time for meaningful conversations which nourish and strengthen us as a whole.
Knowing that we matter, that we belong and that there are people we can call on when times get tough and that it is ok not to be perfect was something we all agreed we need more of right now. There is medicine in community.
Special Thanks
This Community Conversation was made possible by Integrative Acupuncture, a holistic medicine practitioner in Delray Beach.
We are also grateful to the Delray Beach Children’s Garden for hosting this conversation.
Thank you to all who participated and contributed to this important conversation. We hope you will join us March 9th for a Community Conversation on Evil & Power.
