There’s been a lot of discussion in the WiseTribe space lately about the difficulties of turning 50. We’ve been treated to the views of both male and female WiseTribers on the subject, and others still have chimed in with their reactions and comments about the issues of aging and milestone birthdays.
Author Andrew Hessel turned 50 a while back and lived to tell the tales. He even (gasp!) turned 60. Here’s what he reflected on as he looked back on two of life’s more significant sign posts.
Greetings from Portland, Ore.
I’m flattered to be asked to write a guest post for WiseTribe on the subject of milestone birthdays. I’ve experienced both of these milestones and while I won’t pose as an expert on the subject, I’ve had a box seat. On the adventurous journey that is life, even slow-learners like me can’t help but gain a measure of insight in spite of ourselves.
If you bear with me, I’ll tell you in a few words what it means to turn 50. And then, I’ll tell you what it means to turn 60.
But before I give you my take on these milestones, indulge me as I offer context about life and death and all the living along the way.
Life’s inarguable truths: 3 things
First, as the old cliché goes, youth is wasted on the young. No surprise here; truth is why clichés become clichés in the first place.
Second, I believe wholeheartedly that one of the most pleasant byproducts of aging is that we gain perspective. By simply living long enough to see, experience and be impacted by so much that we couldn’t possibly imagine when we had all the time in the world and getting older was for, well, old people.
And finally, life is chock full of lessons if we choose to pay attention. We can learn and grow at any age and from a myriad of sources:
- Our kids.
- Our wives and husbands.
- Our family and friends.
- Even our dogs.
Last summer I lost Mac, the dog of my life. He was a true friend; my writing partner, believe it or not. Mac lived an extraordinary if wholly improbable life. I’d already immortalized him as a character in my second novel, brought him back in the third (part of a trilogy), and was preparing to yet again put him in the next book when he passed. I’m currently detouring from fiction and writing his story, Paw Print in My Heart.
But more than his story, are, remarkably, life lessons we learned — from him.
If you’re curious, here’s a link to what I call his tribute post.
How fast it goes
Last week, my father-in-law passed away at 93. He was an incredible spirit, an amazing life, and while it was no surprise, we’re never prepared for the void our departed loved ones leave behind. His death touched us all, of course, but it yet again reinforced something urgent and profound in me.
Reminding me, yet again, of how fast it goes, how fleeting but how sweet it is. How precious are the memories, how thankful we should be that in times of grief painful ones fade and are quickly replaced by the happier ones, and how the longer you live the more you realize how important it is to seize the moment at any age because doing that is what binds all of us together at every age.
Okay, I’ve set the table; hit you with philosophical meanderings you didn’t ask for from a dude you don’t know, so ta-da: What it means to turn 50; and 60.
A not-so-trivial birthday drink
When I turned 50, a good friend, years younger than me, took me out for a drink.
“What’s it mean to turn 50?” He asked me.
“It’s simple,” I replied without hesitation. “At 50, you’ve got somewhere between 30 years and 30 minutes.”
Ten years later, that same friend took me out for a drink when I turned 60.
“So, now you can tell me what it means to turn 60,” he said, and waited for my reply.
Here’s what I told him.
“This is easy. Turning 60 means you’ve got somewhere between 20 years and 20 seconds.”
Make ‘em count, people. Find the courage to reinvent yourself, seize the day and hold the people you love closer.
In the end, I’ve come to believe, what we have and what really matters most, is each other.
And that’s quite a lot.
Thanks for reading — may the pages turn and deprive you of sleep.
Andrew Hessel
www.pleasereadmybookbeforeidie.com
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